themothyards:

Recently-overheard Fireteam Sayings:

“There will be no bestiality while I’m in charge.”

“Loot me, daddy!”

“The big ones are the doggos and the little ones are puppers. It’s the doggos you gotta watch out for.”

“Calus is T H I C C”

“I SAID NO BESTIALITY”

“God, I wish I could touch Shaxx’s butt.”

“Hold on, I’m pleasuring Calus with my Sweet Business”

“In the end, it was the puppers that got me.”

“Salt me.”

“THIS IS NOT A FURRY CLAN.”

“Hang on, let me find some ammo for my sword.”

“How many times do I have to tell you I’m not your father?”

“Ca-CAW, motherfucker!”

– Clan Report XXX-[REDACTED]